ill at ease

these past couple of days i haven't been feeling very well. well, i know that i wasn't feeling well the other day bc i was hungover from my birthday run, but today i just dont feel the same as normal. i think that maybe i'm kinda dehydrated, and maybe that's why i been feeling crappy. i've been drinking lots of water today, but i feel like it's juss going through me, and i still feel kinda crappy. i don't know what to do. maybe i'll be better tomorrow if i juss keep drinking lots of fluids. i juss hope that i'm not like this anymore by the time school starts bc that would just be horrible. i can't stand feeling like this all the time.

finally 21!

so i'm finally 21 and i got to spend my birthday with baberz at the pearl jam concert :D it was super good, def not what i was expecting..not that i had much to go off since i never listened to their music like i said i was going to hehe. but yah, i thought it was super good, and now i can cross off, going to a huge concert, in my bucket list. i did not drink at all on my actual birthday which i thought was kind of odd at first bc i used to be a huge partier and i thought that i would've gotten super wasted on my birthday, but i didn't, and it didn't seem like that big of a deal that i didn't which makes me feel good about myself :)

i'm gonna be having a 21 run though, i'm kinda scared. i haven't been drinking heavily at all for months so i know it's not gonna take much to get me plastered. hopefully i don't get too messed up too fast, bc i do want everyone to have a good time as well.

9 months

it's been 9 months since we've been official. time sure has gone by quick. we've had some ups and downs, but we've worked through most all of them. lately i've been a bit insecure about where i stand with him, and maybe i still am a little, even though i know i shouldn't be. i just feel like he forgets i'm around him sometimes and then i feel left out. it's partly my fault tho bc i don't say anything until last minute, but still, i don't know. i get over it bc he always makes it up to me, and i'm happy for that, but sometimes i wish he didn't do things like that so that he didn't have to make it up to me, but no relationship is that perfect, so i'm not gonna complain. i'm glad that our relationship is as good as it is bc i know some people who have it harder. and that is why, i'm glad we could spend so much time together, and that we had a great day yesterday celebrating our 9 months. i know we'll have more wonderful days ahead of us, and i can't wait for it all. as for the not so great days, those'll juss be overshadowed by the wonderful ones..i can feel it :)

happy 9 months baberz :D

life

it's been up and down these past couple weeks. i been sick for the past week. i've also been very insecure about myself when it comes to billy. we had a talk the other day about him and us and i think that just made me a little more insecure, but i'm getting better about it. i just really want to help him out as much as i can, but i'm scared that i might fail at it. i hope he can open up to me more so that i know what to do to help him. as for my life in general, i think that i need to open up to him as well, and not be afraid to bring anything up to him. also, i needa get out of this sickness business bc it's really killing me being this way all the time. school's gonna be starting up soon, i'm kinda nervous, but i'm sure i'll get through it juss fine....juss gotta keep my eye on the prize. hopefully this up coming year will be filled with as many great memories as this year and much more.